Crossing the Border

For those of you who don’t know, border crossings into and out of Canada have been pretty intense since 9/11.  Not only do we have extremely long lines, but we also have militant border guards without a sense of humor.  Not to worry.  Just remember to take off your sunglasses and sing a few songs…

Time:  10:03 EST

Setting:  US border crossing into Canada at Cornwall.  Rainy, just beginning to subside.

Characters:  Mike and Ellen.  Border guard.

Border Guard:  Bonjour.

Mike and Ellen:  Bonjour.  Hi.

Border Guard:  Place of Citizenship?

Mike:  United States.

Border Guard:  Where in the US?

Mike: Michigan.

Border Guard:  *looks over at Ellen* And you?

Ellen:  Uh, yeah.  Michigan.

Border Guard:  What are you going to Canada for?

Mike:  We’re spending a few days in Montreal.

Ellen:  The cheese.

Border Guard:  Excuse me?

Ellen:  Nothing.

Border Guard:  Let me see your IDs.

*Mike hands over their drivers licenses*

Border Guard:  *emphatically* Where are your passports?

Mike:  Passports?  We are from the US.  We never use passports.

Border Guard:  *increasingly emphatic*  How am I suppose to know you are from the US?  What makes you an American?

*Mike and Ellen exchange a look.  Each of them stares into space a few seconds*

Ellen:  Well, uh, we can sing the Star Spangled Banner?

Border guard:  *Almost, but not quite, a smile.*  Okay.  I’ll let you through.  But next time bring your passports!

You know what the moral of the story is.  It has something to do with a passport.

Photocredit:  © Ellen Wilson

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