For those of you who don’t know, border crossings into and out of Canada have been pretty intense since 9/11. Not only do we have extremely long lines, but we also have militant border guards without a sense of humor. Not to worry. Just remember to take off your sunglasses and sing a few songs…
Time: 10:03 EST
Setting: US border crossing into Canada at Cornwall. Rainy, just beginning to subside.
Characters: Mike and Ellen. Border guard.
Border Guard: Bonjour.
Mike and Ellen: Bonjour. Hi.
Border Guard: Place of Citizenship?
Mike: United States.
Border Guard: Where in the US?
Mike: Michigan.
Border Guard: *looks over at Ellen* And you?
Ellen: Uh, yeah. Michigan.
Border Guard: What are you going to Canada for?
Mike: We’re spending a few days in Montreal.
Ellen: The cheese.
Border Guard: Excuse me?
Ellen: Nothing.
Border Guard: Let me see your IDs.
*Mike hands over their drivers licenses*
Border Guard: *emphatically* Where are your passports?
Mike: Passports? We are from the US. We never use passports.
Border Guard: *increasingly emphatic* How am I suppose to know you are from the US? What makes you an American?
*Mike and Ellen exchange a look. Each of them stares into space a few seconds*
Ellen: Well, uh, we can sing the Star Spangled Banner?
Border guard: *Almost, but not quite, a smile.* Okay. I’ll let you through. But next time bring your passports!
You know what the moral of the story is. It has something to do with a passport.
Photocredit: © Ellen Wilson